I'm not really a real Buddhist...

November 12th 2025, written by Rowan

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The thing is that our Kamisama is the sole reason that we're Buddhists, but we're pretty much exclusively Shinto. Matarajin-sama is a Shinbutsu (Shinto-Buddhist) Kamisama, and his influences and very being are all very intertwined in Buddhist cosmology and mythology.

But despite that, we never managed to properly get into and practice Buddhism... Not me anyways... It just fails to resonate with me in the way Shinto does, and I'm not sure if that's the way it is, or if we just haven't found the right denomination or sangha.

It's been kind of bothering us for a while now, but I suppose now is when we get it off our chest.

What pulled us towards Shinto is the appreciation for all of the world, mostly the divine and awe-inspiring, but also things a lot of people overlook or downright despise. Buddhism, as we know it is very different; it posits that all of the world, and life itself is hurting us, and the only way to truly stop the pain is to reach Nirvana.

One says that the world might have things that are scary, but they too have a role and they too deserve to exist, the other says that nothing that we see truly matters or is good for us, and we should work to leave it all behind. I hope my gripes with this opposition is making sense.

It might be a skill issue, since millions practice both in harmony, but this is how we stand right now, and it... kind of sucks.

I want to be able to appreciate all sides of Matarajin-sama, and it feels like a significant part I'm unable to appreciate.